Goodbye to MySpace

Erin dunn — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 22:18:56 GMT

I got divorced 6 years ago but (and not that I'm proud of this) I was already many months into a relationship before it was final. It was a B-A-D relationship - but that's a very long story. Anyway, it ended nearly three years ago.

Upon first becoming officially single and unattached - nearly three years after my divorce - I was kind of clueless. It had been more than a decade since I'd dated and that wasn't exactly pre-internet but it was pre-internet dating and social networking sites. At the urging of a colleague/friend, I joined Yahoo! Personals almost right away. Talk about culture shock!!

Then, towards the end of 2006, someone I met via Yahoo! Personals clued me into MySpace. I didn't really know what it was except that I'd occasionally heard something negative about it in the news, e.g. about stalkers and pedophiles. I had always assumed it was something for kids but mine were little so it wasn't anything of great concern to me.

I logged in and created my first profile. I'd say I was "hooked" in less than a week..."wow! All of these people want to talk to me? Meet me?" It was like a gold mine for a single woman who was only beginning to recover her self esteem and confidence following a divorce and a miserable, failed transitional relationship.

I dated a lot via MySpace in that first year....men of varying ages, back grounds, etc....and I was "hit on" constantly...in a way that is pretty much protocol for the internet. I got a lot of random friend requests from men and e-mails that were about as charming and subtle as Joey from Friends ala "How you doin'?" I was at least (usually) smart enough to ignore MOST of them.

By the end of 2007, I'd learned the game and had become good at playing it although I never really subscribed to searching profiles and sending friend requests. I'm way too ADD for that. Besides, I never really had to. They seemed to find me.

I've never really known what I want, exactly, but I never deliberately set out to have affairs. Unfortunately, that's pretty much where I ended up...one affair after another.

Early in 2008, I took advantage of yet another MySpace opportunity to meet a man, only this time it was truly intended to be a dirty little secret. I agreed to meet a 22 year old man who'd been a relatively quiet MySpace friend for a couple of months. He never really "hit" on me and only e-mailed occasionally to say hello or comment on a blog...so he wasn't creepy or pushy like so many...the one's who conjured up the mental image of a grown man jumping up and down with his hand stretched towards the heavens yelling "pick me, pick me!!"

Well, I ended up seeing the 22 year old for the better part of 8 months. I was very satisfied with this relationship that amounted to a genuine friendship that lacked the insecurity, neediness and clinginess of the men my own age. In reality, that relationship worked because we both knew it was not destined to become a long term committment and we didn't worry about it. That's also another long story; however, my point is that because I found myself content to not date for a long period of time, I slowly became more of a MySpace observer than participant.

Once I was able to sit back and observe what others were doing...what I had done...my entire perspective on it changed. To be honest, I am concerned about of the overall impact MySpace (and other social networking) sites are having on our culture.

(to be continued)

About Ms. Dunn

Erin dunn — Thu, 29 May 2008 19:59:59 GMT

Hi! Welcome to my site on PNN.com. I've been a closet writer for many years but have only been writing publically on MySpace (yeah, yeah...I know) for about a year and a half.

I'm 41 and a divorced mom of two (in other words, single) so I write from that perspective.

I'm also a compliance specialist in a major medical research institution and a sometimes bartender in a small local pub 'cause you really just can't beat that dynamic for some fun and the $ isn't too bad, either.

I don't think my life is extraordinary but it tends to be pretty interesting and funny. I've been told that my style is "a witty commentary on life and love written in a way that is easy to relate to". So, here I am and we'll see what happens! Enjoy!

It's Always Something...

Goodbye to MySpace

About Ms. Dunn