Goodbye to MySpace

I got divorced 6 years ago but (and not that I'm proud of this) I was already many months into a relationship before it was final.  It was a B-A-D relationship - but that's a very long story.  Anyway, it ended nearly three years ago.

Upon first becoming officially single and unattached - nearly three years after my divorce - I was kind of clueless.  It had been more than a decade since I'd dated and that wasn't exactly pre-internet but it was pre-internet dating and social networking sites.  At the urging of a colleague/friend, I joined Yahoo! Personals almost right away.  Talk about culture shock!!

Then, towards the end of 2006, someone I met via Yahoo! Personals clued me into MySpace.  I didn't really know what it was except that I'd occasionally heard something negative about it in the news, e.g. about stalkers and pedophiles.  I had always assumed it was something for kids but mine were little so it wasn't anything of great concern to me.

I logged in and created my first profile.  I'd say I was "hooked" in less than a week..."wow! All of these people want to talk to me? Meet me?"  It was like a gold mine for a single woman who was only beginning to recover her self esteem and confidence following a divorce and a miserable, failed transitional relationship.

I dated a lot via MySpace in that first year....men of varying ages, back grounds, etc....and I was "hit on" constantly...in a way that is pretty much protocol for the internet.  I got a lot of random friend requests from men and e-mails that were about as charming and subtle as Joey from Friends ala "How you doin'?"  I was at least (usually) smart enough to ignore MOST of them.

By the end of 2007, I'd learned the game and had become good at playing it although I never really subscribed to searching profiles and sending friend requests.  I'm way too ADD for that.  Besides, I never really had to.  They seemed to find me.

I've never really known what I want, exactly, but I never deliberately set out to have affairs.  Unfortunately, that's pretty much where I ended up...one affair after another.

Early in 2008, I took advantage of yet another MySpace opportunity to meet a man, only this time it was truly intended to be a dirty little secret.  I agreed to meet a 22 year old man who'd been a relatively quiet MySpace friend for a couple of months.  He never really "hit" on me and only e-mailed occasionally to say hello or comment on a blog...so he wasn't creepy or pushy like so many...the one's who conjured up the mental image of a grown man jumping up and down with his hand stretched towards the heavens yelling "pick me, pick me!!"

Well, I ended up seeing the 22 year old for the better part of 8 months.  I was very satisfied with this relationship that amounted to a genuine friendship that lacked the insecurity, neediness and clinginess of the men my own age.  In reality, that relationship worked because we both knew it was not destined to become a long term committment and we didn't worry about it.  That's also another long story; however, my point is that because I found myself content to not date for a long period of time, I slowly became more of a MySpace observer than participant.

Once I was able to sit back and observe what others were doing...what I had done...my entire perspective on it changed.  To be honest, I am concerned about of the overall impact MySpace (and other social networking) sites are having on our culture.

(to be continued)

About Ms. Dunn

Hi!  Welcome to my site on PNN.com.  I've been a closet writer for many years but have only been writing publically on MySpace (yeah, yeah...I know) for about a year and a half. 

I'm 41 and a divorced mom of two (in other words, single) so I write from that perspective. 

I'm also a compliance specialist in a major medical research institution and a sometimes bartender in a small local pub 'cause you really just can't beat that dynamic for some fun and the $ isn't too bad, either. 

I don't think my life is extraordinary but it tends to be pretty interesting and funny.  I've been told that my style is "a witty commentary on life and love written in a way that is easy to relate to".  So, here I am and we'll see what happens!  Enjoy!